One case of head lice away from chaos!
SAMHC Weekly Blogger:
Amelia Traino
Executive Director, SA Mental Health Commission
Like many working parents I have been finding the return of my three kids to school to be both a relief and a stressor.
Will they like their teachers? Will they have friends? One of mine is starting year 12 so that’s another thing to worry about.
All this worry while doing my other job as Executive Director of the SA Mental Health Commission.
I was talking to a friend last week with two younger children and she uttered those immortal words “I don’t know how you do it!”
My reply was: “I’m one case of head lice away from chaos.”
My life is so carefully balanced and constructed that one unexpected thing, small in the grander context, would cause all the balls I am juggling to fall.
But my friend’s comment made me reflect on how I do manage everything. And the answer is – I don’t.
And it’s not just about me – as a family of 5, we all have responsibilities to make sure our family life works: my eight year old son manages the recycling and rubbish; my daughters look after the pets; my partner cooks dinner and does the grocery shopping and I tackle the never-ending pile of washing.
One of my favourite memories as a kid was the magical cakes my mum would whip up out of the Australian Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake book – jelly pools and trains with mint slice wheels abounded.
I wanted my children to have those memories and have baked up a storm over the years – the birthday cake for the party, for the family and for the school friends. My children like to remind me of the hot pink fire engine and other notable fails. I am not and probably never will be a domestic goddess, but as my son says – “good job for trying mum!”
What I am admitting is that I can’t and don’t do it all on my own and there are some days when I feel like I failed as a mum or haven’t finished my to-do list at work – and that’s OK.
Community connectedness is one of the main themes I heard about when I went out and spoke to the community about the SA Mental Health Strategic Plan and, having moved interstate twice, I know how tricky it can be to build supportive connections.
There’s the saying that it takes a village to raise a child and I think that holds true, but unlike in my mum’s time when her village was her community of stay-at-home mums, mine is all over the place.
I have support through text and email from friends interstate, my mother (bless her) sews scout badges on my son’s shirt – if left up to me there would definitely be superglue involved – and my sister has the kids for sleepovers and gardening marathons.
As well, I have a network of parents, health professionals and other useful people and businesses built over the years.
The internet is my friend – my kids would go sockless without it.
On the days when the balls get dropped and my day has turned to custard, I reflect on how lucky I am, to have healthy kids, a lovely partner, a great job which I love (most days), family who help out (most days) and ducks who adore me unconditionally (every day). I know not everyone has this – especially the ducks.
So I try to pay it forward and reach out where I can; pick up an extra kid from sport, drop a cooked chicken over to a family who is having a tricky time, feed a friend’s pets, visit my friends in hospital and be a contributing part of my community.
And I have learnt to let stuff go. Sometimes, I miss assemblies and sports days and sometimes I miss work to look after a sick child or take a duck to the vet – and that’s OK too.
By Amelia Traino
Executive Director, SA Mental Health Commission
Amelia is an occupational therapist with post graduate qualifications in adult mental health care and public sector management. She has worked in mental health for 20 years in senior clinical, management and state-wide service development and implementation positions in NSW and SA.
She is passionate about mental health and loves that she gets to work at the Commission and influence positive change. She lives with three school aged kids, a dog, 2 cats, a bunny, 11 chickens and a dozen ducks and she is still trying to get a pet pig over the line with her very patient husband.
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