Special Guest Blogger:
Samantha Lai
Research Project Officer at UnitingCare Wesley Bowden
SA Mental Health Commission Youth Advisory Group member
Tackling the two sides of mental health stigma in Asian culture
As a young Australian-born Chinese, I know that everyone’s experience of mental ill-health is unique in every way.
Sure, everyone’s condition is different but there are similarities between their struggles and their stories and this blog draws upon those similarities. It is a collection of thoughts based on stories, observations and experiences of young people from Asian backgrounds surrounding me.
Everyone knows there is stigma surrounding mental ill-health. I can’t speak for other cultures, but I know that this stigma is very strong in Asian cultures. It is an unfortunate reality but as a result of this, many do suffer in silence, fail to seek help and turn to themselves for answers.
More recently, younger generations of the Asian community have become more open about their experiences of mental ill-health. But a paradox exists, especially within children of first-generation immigrant parents. These are young people who were born in let’s say Australia, the U.S., the U.K., or elsewhere, with parents from foreign countries.
Simply speaking, we have two sides of ourselves as children of first-generation immigrants. Let’s call them A and B:
Side A has some knowledge about mental health and wellbeing. These two concepts were the “hot topics” when he/she was progressing through school and as a result, Side A has some self-care practices at their disposal and is open to the idea of expressing their thoughts, feelings and emotions when times are tough.
Side B is more conservative compared to progressive and open Side A. Side B is our upbringing, our morals, our culture. Side B is that voice in the back of our minds that tells us to “be independent”, to “be tough”. To not pester others with our problems. To not disclose our problems because that’s a weakness… because we have to maintain our ‘face’, our “面子” (“mian zi”), which is our reputation… because others may start talking about us behind our backs.
Sides A and B are in constant conflict and eventually, one side wins.
Let’s say Side B wins, then you may have a young person who chooses to internalise their thoughts, feelings and emotions. And as a result, he/she may be that young person who suffers in silence, tries to manage on their own and doesn’t reach out for help.
Let’s say Side A wins, then the idea of opening up and talking about experiences with mental ill-health is less daunting. This young person may slowly ease into the idea of seeking help whether it is through friends or through professionals. But wait a second, what about family? This is when it gets interesting.
Side A is confident. They’ve already opened up to their friends. They’ve done their research and slowly progressed with the idea of seeking professional help. They may have dialled that phone number and made that one appointment. But now they’re looking for familial support for this next stretch of the journey and realises it’s now the time. The time to tell his/her parents about what’s going on in that mind of theirs.
Side A patiently waits for everyone to finish dinner, for the dishes to be washed, for family members to banter and eventually retreat back into their respective rooms before entering their parents’ room to have the “talk”.
“Mum, dad, I’m depressed”.
“Why? Why are you depressed? You’ve got it easier than us.”
“Hey, don’t go to the doctors for a diagnosis. What if your workplace finds out?”
This breaks Side A’s heart and Side B rushes back and claims the win.
Responses like these belittle our experiences with mental ill-health and force us down a thought process where we wonder whether our experiences are valid. Whether we have a right to experience these feelings of sadness and anguish because it’s true – to some extent – we do have it easier than our parents who fled war-torn countries and re-established themselves in countries where they started with absolutely nothing.
Rather than encouraging help seeking, we are encouraged to suffer in silence to maintain ‘face’ – our reputations. So, we are not seen as weak. So, we are viewed as ‘successful’ or depictions of the high standards expected of us. And we’re restricted from help seeking with constant reminders of the possible negative outcomes that could – but most probably won’t – unfold.
So, you might be wondering… How can we – “we” being the collective of young people born in Australia yet raised in Asian households – navigate this situation?
Well, the answer may vary depending on who you ask. But in my honest opinion? With encouragement, education and patience.
Firstly, encourage others to speak out, seek help and to break cultural barriers. As more people speak out about their experiences, the message of mental health travels further down the “grapevine”. This normalises mental ill-health within our culture and indirectly spreads the message to our parents.
Secondly, it is important to realise that the concept of mental ill-health is so foreign (pun-intended) to our parents. As a daughter or as a son, we must help our parents understand what mental ill-health is. Once they start to grasp the concept, they can start piecing together what’s going on and why it’s going on and become more proactive in your journey to wellness.
Thirdly, not everyone is going to grasp the concept straight away. I mean, you, yourself, may have taken some time to come to terms with what you were feeling and thinking. So, be patient as your parents take this opportunity to better understand you and to digest this information. Remember, you may have had the benefit of turning to Google for answers, but for them, you are their Google – their someone to explain things through.
And, try your best not to let this initial reaction impede your journey to wellness. You’ve taken a chance to open up and yes, it may not have panned out the way you intended it to. But in the end, you still took the chance and that is quite possibly the most courageous thing you could do!
By Samantha Lai
Research Project Officer at UnitingCare Wesley Bowden
SA Mental Health Commission Youth Advisory Group member
Samantha Lai, Research Project Officer at UnitingCare Wesley Bowden and SA Mental Health Commission Youth Advisory Group member
Sam Lai is a recent Psychology (Honours) graduate with keen interest in child and youth mental health, health education, promotion and policy. As a young researcher, she is currently involved in multiple projects which incorporate lived experience, community engagement and diversity into the mental health sector. Sam gives back to the community by being a proactive and passionate YAG member. She contributes to conversations by voicing her own lived experience, bringing insights into mental health to Asian communities and drawing on her professional knowledge.
2019 Mental Health Week: October 7–11
Special Guest Bloggers
